I'm growing stronger

I left and overnighted at a couple we know's place, had fun, i just needed a break and they're so supportive...got home, was in major trouble...every time i say something in my defense it's like ammunition against me. So i've stopped doing that anddecided to go on with my life, let him go and not try and 'help' him or so on but it's SO hard to just be quiet coz we still live in the same place and it seems like I still have to just keep quiet to keep the peace...so he takes it as i'm giving in then he says really bad and hurtful things to me and i just have to not say anything...I feel trapped, I can't breathe, I hate feeling this way. I didn't really feel open to b intimate, but i did it and i wanted to kiss and he said 'no', i need to earn his trust again first and i'm thinking wtf? he says he 'tries' to dostuff around the house (but I had to clean the dishes he dirtied while i was away and if idon't give him a satisfactory answer to things (like wen i don't want to give him money-he doesn't work) then he doesn't do anything) so he says he tries then i do something, asmentioned above and i make his walls go up again. Then he says things like u leave me alone at home, i'm angry with you but i don't want to be without you... why does he do this?
he laughs coz i had to write and read to him something that was important to me and if i hav a scared look on my face he goes y do u look at me as if i hit you and laughs to himself and just shakes his head and says huh i'm an abusive husband....
but i'm getting stronger bit by bit, day by day....